Dealing with a Fear of Heights

Missing Out

Horseshoe Bend - sort of

I believe I've mentioned more than a few times that I've missed shots because I couldn't bring myself to get out to the edge of a drop off to take a photograph. Believe me, that is disappointing.

I was at Horseshoe Bend once for a really nice sunset but I could not go to the edge. I ended up with a couple of shots of more brave people at the edge and this shot that barely shows the slot where the Colorado River cuts through the sandstone on the Colorado Plateau.

More recently, when my wife and I visited the North Rim of the Grand Canyon National Park in October, 2016, I was unable to go out to various view points that I'd been out on the previous year. I was unable to go to Bright Angel Point using the path from the top of the rim (I'd tried and failed the year before, using the path from the viewpoints below the lodge).

Looking for Help

In November, 2016, when I went to visit Bryce Canyon National Park and got stuck in Utah for a week due to a blown transmission, I mulled over my fear of heights issue and the lost shots it costs me. It dawned on me that perhaps I could find help on remedying my issue on the internets. What a novel idea, eh?

View from my desk at my day job
Looking south down Central Avenue

I read quite a few different pages, blogs, etc. And found out that not all fears of heights are the same. In my case, I don't really have a fear of heights.

I work on the 23rd floor of my building in Phoenix. I have no problem going right up to the window and looking out. I did get out to one viewpoint at the North Rim that had good railings along the path (even though all I could do when there was hug the sign and then crawl back to the parking lot). I think I could easily do the Grand Canyon Skywalk.

I don't have a problem with the heights themselves. I have a problem trusting my balance and when the consequences of stumbling or falling are pretty significant, I apparently unconsciously try to keep myself from putting myself in situations that I may not survive. On the one hand I get disappointed that I can't go to the edge but on the other hand I'm amazed that I must have some built in guardian that is trying to keep me out of danger!

A lot of the information I found online regarding dealing with a fear of heights basically recommended that you address your fear by climbing on progressively higher platforms and getting comfortable with the height before moving to the next level. It makes sense to be afraid of heights to some extent because they can be dangerous however you can learn to live with the fear if you do it in baby steps.

Then I found a web page that I wish I'd bookmarked but can't find it to refer to it now. This source said it's not a good idea to blindly make people who claim to have a fear of heights try to overcome it by placing themselves in a precarious position. Because... Well, because sometimes the fear of heights is actually a fear of falling issue which can be based on physical conditions that mean that putting a person at the edge of Horseshoe Bend overlook could be putting them in peril.

That same page recommended that a person afflicted with a fear of heights should see a physician first in order to make sure there's no underlying physical problem. I'd like to thank whoever posted that sane information!

The Remedy (for me anyway)

Disclaimer: I'm not trying to provide any health guidance here so don't take what I say as applying to you or anyone else. My recommendation is to see a doctor.

I saw my primary care a few weeks ago. She did a very simple test - had me stand with my arms out and close my eyes. I was instantly wobbly (she was there to try to catch me). I think this might be a modified "Romberg" test. It was enough for her to clearly see that I have some issues with balance.

I was referred to physical therapy and had my first visit today. They found out a good number of problems (I couldn't easily walk heel to toe in a straight with my eyes closed while shaking my head around). I got a slew of exercises to do at home and will be having follow up visits.

This is somewhat of a relief. Now I know that I've got real, physical issues and that they can probably be resolved. I may get out to Bright Angel Point when the snow melts next year!